How Men Test Women (4 Psychological Tricks We Play)
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How Men Test Women (4 Psychological Tricks We Play)


– Have you ever been talking to a new guy and it felt like every
single step you made in the relationship he was
like kind of testing you? And unless you know that
you’re actually being tested, it can really leave you wondering
what the (beep) is going on and why is he asking me
these types of questions? But after this video, you will
be armed with the knowledge of the type of tests that men
usually put women through. In this video right now, I’m
gonna be reviewing four tests that most men put women
through in order to determine whether or not they really
want to commit to her. Keep watching. (upbeat music) Hey there, my name’s Adam
Lodolce from sexyconfidence.com where I help you create your love story, and this video is all about
tests in relationships, and by the way, you women out there, you’re testing the (beep)
out of us guys all the time whether you know it or not. In previous videos, I talk a
lot about the dating process and how it really is
just one big experiment, and you’re just kind of
testing every single step of the way. You’re testing if you’re
compatible, you’re testing whether or not that person’s going
to fit into your life, and you’re testing whether or
not you really have feelings for this person. So here are four tests that
men consistently put women through, and you’re gonna
wanna watch out for these. I’m gonna give you exactly
how it is that you can pass these tests, assuming you actually want to pass this guy’s test,
A.K.A. if you like the guy. Test number one is called
the casual relationship test. A lot of single guys out
there who have options of lots of women they could potentially
date will try to see if they can keep a relationship casual during those early stages. What the casual relationship
does is allows the guy to get relationship benefits
without actually being in a relationship. So the way to pass this
test is to not give a guy relationship benefits
unless you are actually in a committed, exclusive relationship, and this really expands beyond
just what most people think which is just sexual intimacy,
and this expands further than that into really emotional intimacy. Always being there for him,
being his support system every single step of the way where he’s not doing the same for you. The second test is what
I call the bro test. This is where a guy, if
he really likes a girl, is going to bring her
out with his guy friends and see how she does. In his mind, he’s gonna be thinking, can she hang with the boys? Now, contrary to a lot
of advice out there, you don’t have to be farting
and burping and drinking beer every single step of the way
in order to pass this test, and in fact, there really should
be no passing of gas until, I would say, that one year
mark in a relationship. The way to pass this test
when you’re hanging out with your new guy’s bro
friends is to just simply ask these guys questions about themselves. Most people, when they’re put
in this type of a situation where they’re feeling
judged, what do they do? They start to talk
about themselves, right? Like it’s natural to feel like
you need to impress everyone so you want to tell everyone,
you know, where you went to school, what do you do
for work, and in many ways it almost feels like you’re
kind of bragging about yourself. So instead of constantly
talking about yourself, rather than doing that, take
the energy off of yourself and place it elsewhere. Ask the guys what do
they like to do for fun? Where do they like to go out at night? Ask them questions about the
guy that you are talking to. Get some insider information there. That is a way you can
really start connecting with these guys. The best way to get someone to like you is to get them talking about themselves. It’s a strange psychological effect. The next test is the family test. This is where a guy
presents you to his family. If he’s younger, he might
introduce you to his parents or if he’s a little bit
older, he might introduce you to his kids. This is where you’re
actually probably gonna have to talk about yourself a little
bit more because chances are if you’ve been in this
situation, you’ve realized that these people want to get to know you. I’ll never forget this past year when I was on a show
called Kate Plus Date. It was on TLC, and I was
helping Kate Gosselin find love, and in case you don’t know
Kate Gosselin, she got famous from a show called Kate Plus Eight because she has eight children. So the producers thought
it would be really funny to get these potential
dates in front of some of her daughters where they
were just getting absolutely grilled about things in
their life, and it made for pretty good TV, but
this is where I wish, I wish I could’ve just
talked to these guys before this interview process
because typically when you’re in this situation,
people are gonna ask you about four things. Number one is religion,
number two is what you like to do for fun, number three is your work, and number four is your family. Now, this doesn’t mean you
have to have everything figured out in all four of those areas, okay? However, you should have
something positive to say about each of those
four parts of your life. If you decide that you
don’t want to talk at all about religion, that’s not
something that’s on the table, well, that’s gonna be a problem. If you absolutely hate your job
and don’t have anything nice to say about it, then that’s a problem. If you don’t like to do anything for fun and you can’t really answer that question because you’re just kind
of a lame person, well, that is a fail, and then
finally, if you don’t like your family and you have
no close connections with your family, well,
that too is a big problem. So the way to pass this test
when you’re meeting someone’s family for the first time
is just to put a little bit of thought into each of those
areas because chances are, they will be discussed, and then finally, last but not least is what I
call the wife material test. This is where a guy is deciding whether or not this would be the type
of woman he’d really want to settle down with. Do you like to do the same things? Do you have the same vision
of your future moving forward? And then it can go all
the way down to the more like tactical things such
as like do you like to cook? Would you be able to cook? Are you a complete slob? Is your house a complete
disaster all the time? When he walks into your
bedroom, do you have just like 50 pieces of clothing everywhere
and you can’t even walk through the house? Or would you be good around children? Like if you want to have
children in the future, do you have motherly instincts? These are things that men
are always looking out for when they’re deciding if
they want to really commit for the long haul. Quick funny story on
this, back when Jessica and I first started dating,
she would come to my apartment and sometimes we would just cook dinner because we were spending
a lot of time together, and I would always invite
her to cook dinner with me or sometimes I’d be
like hey, you know what, why don’t you cook dinner tonight? And she would always say something
that kind of threw me off and she said Adam, I’m sorry,
I just don’t like cooking in other people’s kitchens,
and I remember thinking to myself, that doesn’t seem reasonable. She’s probably a really, really bad cook, like she’s probably just
hiding something from me. Now, luckily she had a lot
of other incredible qualities about her that made me
really want to commit to her for the long haul, and it wasn’t
until we moved in together and we had our own place together
where she started cooking, and it turns out she’s an
amazing cook, way better than me. Now, of course, it all worked
out between the two of us, so you know what, she
failed that one little test, but she just passed every
other single test imaginable which leads me to the end of this video which is the sexiest
thing of all is a women who knows herself and is
who she is authentically and she brings that to the table. This video was really just
designed to give you some insight into the male mind, and
it’s not designed for you to manipulate yourself into
someone that you’re not. Yes, tests do happen, and
by the way, you should also be testing men every
single step of the way. So if you enjoyed this video, please give it a like on YouTube. Don’t forget to subscribe on YouTube, and also if you want to access
a full library of courses that will help you through
finding love, keeping love, overcoming heartbreak, as
well as just self-love, I recommend you check out
the Sexy Confidence Club. We have a 14-day free trial
at sexyconfidence.com/club. I’d love for you to join
me along with 1,000’s of other women who are part
of that incredible community, and it’s really designed to
help you feel more confident in your love life. So if you want to check that
out, you can go to link in bio or check here’s a link in the description. We got it all right down there. Thank you so much for watching,
and I’ll speak to you, you sexy, single lady next week, buh-bye.

38 Comments

  • bakxxc

    Looking back Adam the dumbest test I went through with my ex's ,cost us the relationship, I remember with my first bf , he had a bad experience with his ex , apparently she was a party girl and wanted him to be more social and talk to people, with him knowing I'm quiet and introverted, he had probably learn I was that way maybe few days prior messing up, anyways he decided to tell me he was going to a beach party ( as a joke test as he says) where there's a lot of girls… I pretty much ended the relationship that night, after him constantly crying and calling my phone I decided to give the relationship another shot, after he explained his dumb idea.. men are really weird loll

  • Satins Heart

    How to handle men’s test questions? Be unapologetically authentic and not give a fuck about whether your failing or passing a test with a particular guy because at the end of it all the right guy will stick. If you think about it Adam that’s what Jess did to you lol. She was pretty much like “um no im not cooking in your kitchen. Take it or leave it” lol and guess what? Even though she gave you an impression that she don’t cook you still took it, you didn’t leave it, and ya love it despite that negative initial impression lol. So ladies don’t stress about silly tests. Be your amazing self.

  • Belinda Joy

    Love this video! I have definitely tested men and they have tested me. #3 for me is one I use often on dates. If they steer clear of spiritual conversations, have nothing but negative things to say about their family, either don't work or have a job they don't like, and don't do anything for fun…NEGATIVE! Red flags!😆🤭😏

    2019 I met a lot of men like this. On dates I could see they were looking for a woman to fill those voids in their lives. Which in past relationships I did. Now I can honestly say I don't want that anymore, it's too exhausting.

  • TickleMyTombstone

    Hey Adam, had a couple of questions about a new guy I've been talking to. Where is the best place to reach? Btw, great video as always!

  • Alanna Fox Starks

    The sexist language you use bugged me today.. a girl is a female under 18 years old. A woman is a female over 18. If a man says he's interested in girls, then I run. I'm not interested in pedophiles!!! Also, the cooking/cleaning test thing bugged me. This ancient,1950s house wife idea that a woman should be chained to a house..ugh!!! Look, if a man doesn't have enough money to provide a weekly maid, I don't want to date him, let alone marry him. I'm working hard every day on my career. I keep things up for the most part, but it's not perfect. But this is for me and my son, not for a man. I love to cook sometimes, but not every day. I provide my own delivery food and maid when I need it. I don't even tell men where I live, let alone allow them to judge me based on how my house is (and how messy my teenager was that day). It takes a lot for a man to get into my good graces, tbh. I've been burned too much before. A man and a relationship should add to my experience on Earth, not make it annoying! I'm looking to add quality to a man's life also, not be tested and judged constantly. I don't need to jump through hoops to be loved or approved of.. if a man isn't real, I'm not interested. On my last date, I told him that I like to cook sometimes but not daily and that my house is messy sometimes. His reply was golden..he said "That's okay, I have owned 5 restaurants in my life because I love to cook and it would be a pleasure to cook for you! And I'm pretty neat and I'm always cleaning while my mind is on other things, so it wouldn't bother me at all. I'm used to it anyway, cleaning up after myself. So that's not a problem at all. " We would be together now if he didn't need to move to another city for his business. But we are in touch still.

  • Monica Seferian

    The same people who disrespect and misjudge people who distance themselves from their dysfunctional families are the same people who will cry out some BS speech about how we shouldn't be with those who molested and abused us either. Im probably never gonna losten to this blog again 👎🏽

  • Claudia Krah

    Wait 2:30 — what do you mean no passing of gas until one year in a relationship? Who holds in bodily functions for an entire year? That’s not realistic… I disagree.

  • Victoria Heart

    Great advice! Only problem is that as we hit middle age and have limited family (parents passed) or are in a transition after upgrading for a better education where we are looking for work, we don’t seem to look like great options. This holds us back as it seems like we are batting only 50%! 😞

  • Spooky Spectre

    I always pass the "bro test". His friends usually end up wanting to date me if he and I dont work out. Lol
    Then they break the "bro code". Lol

  • Calida

    Hmmm! Gives me some things to consider so I can make better, genuine answers. I always get thrown off when these types of questions come up, so thanks for this!

  • Kelley ONeal

    I am my true authentic weird self with him. I am so "in" with his family. I went to grade school with his youngest sister for a better part of 6 years. He told me that she would talk about my twin sister in a good way. I'm FB friends with that sister, guy friend, the other sister, the brother, his own son and even had some of his friends request friendship. My guy and I have very similar upbringing (both sets of parents married 50+ years) and religious background (Catholic).

  • Non-Descript Being

    It’s valid but I have yet to meet anyone that is anywhere close to that analytical and caring of the short and long term, lol. Both exes were fucking stupid.

  • BooDotBoo

    I bet you it was something working with that Kate woman. I don't know her personally, so I'm judging only from what I see, but she is a mess.

  • BooDotBoo

    I don't like cooking in other people's kitchens, either, and I cook all the time. It's just, I know where everything is in my kitchen, I know how my oven works, I know I have the pots and pans I need for specific dishes or not, I know if I have the ingredients I need, I know what messes I can make and I know how to clean them because I know where everything is (I also don't have to worry about someone cleaning up behind me or nagging me about why I'm not cleaning something up right away when I need to stir my sauce first). I don't know, I just feel more comfortable in my kitchen, plus I like to listen to music when I cook. I completely understand Jessica about that, lol. However, if it's a person I've spent a lot of time with and I know their kitchen, cooking in their kitchen is a breeze and quite enjoyable. I just don't like cooking in their kitchens early on.

  • Tealicious 587

    Most women no longer care enough to tolerate men putting us through tests . Women like myself are too busy working making money building wealth no time for games .

  • Lava Yuki

    My now BF introduced me to a lot of his friends when we initially met, and on nights out and for drinks/dinner as well. But we became exclusive before I met his family. I don't think you should bother introducing someone you aren't already BF and GF to your parents

  • beary bear

    1. The casual relationship tests – not to give the guy relationship benefits unless you are in a committed relationship with him,let him crave you more😉
    2. The Bro test – hanging around with his friends,how you can impress yourself in front of his friends
    3.The Family test – getting know more of his family and how do you deal with them😂
    4.The wife material test – the type of woman he wants to settle down with, men are looking for good and meaningful qualities in a woman,so does a woman. Think wise🙂

  • Rebecca Bartley

    Hey Adam, when do you think a guy should ask you to be your girlfriend? When should he be introducing you to his friends and family?

  • It's Yuri

    In that number 4 ….guys in my country they be keepin u busy when u go to there house u clean,u wash,u cook,u sweep,u dust and finally u open the legs and he eats then u went home tired thinking it's right but news flash its not…..never do that these guys thinks its trending and if u don't do that they say ohhhh ur lazy ooooo ur not wife material enough blaa blaaa those MF are the Laziest ones cuz a guy who loves u won't take u to his dirty house just so u can clean

  • Lou Sunny

    Adam, to me your SO not wanting to cook in your kitchen was her appropriately responding to your test. Cooking privileges aren’t just giving out to a guy.

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