Every parent at Disney – John Crist
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Every parent at Disney – John Crist


We made it to the happiest place on
earth. It’s 9 a.m. I gotta schedule every minute of our day until 9 p.m. Pay attention and stay close I just flew my family halfway across America to visit
Disney and all my home school kids want to do is visit the Hall of Presidents. We
need a map. $45 for bedazzled Mouse ears? Baby you want these or you want to go to
college? Absolutely not absolutely not. It’s 9:30 in the morning it’s too early
to get wet. We’re not waiting an hour and a half for impressions of France okay?
Eat a baguette lose a World War that’s my impression of France. Let’s go to
Space Mountain. No I’m not gonna push him in a stroller okay he’s four. No that’s
not right the Splash Mountain is this way. No you cannot have goofy shaped
chicken nuggets. Sit down your mother brought ham sandwiches. Oh for heaven’s
sakes pick up your garbage and throw it away this isn’t Six Flags. Listen Rebecca
she’s not coming out today okay that dream to meet Elsa you better let it go. Oh you want to go to a small world all by yourself huh? It’s gonna turn into a
pretty big world when you come outside and can’t find your parents. Oh great now my wife wants a photo with Gaston perfect. Well hurry up make believe your feet
aren’t sore this is Disney use your imagination. See these locks right here
kids that’s what happens when you disobey your parents. You know what I
want to ride a park bench in the shade. One two three four five where’s McKenzie? My goodness I gotta fake a leg injury or something I need one of those scooters. Honestly how are there possibly so many strollers in here. We have been here for
ten hours. I mean my love language is quality time but not this much. A
four-hour wait for Toy Story? That line is to infinity and beyond. I feel like
we’re going the wrong direction. Well is it air conditioned? If not I don’t want
to go. [Portugese] no it’s in Portuguese no wonder this map doesn’t make any
sense. If you don’t get back here by the count of three I will spank you in two
Tomorrowland.

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