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CGRundertow BURGER JACK for Xbox 360 Video Game Review


Awright. I’ve got this one down pat. So
you’re this little flying little guy, and you have to run through a castle grabbing
and defusing hamburgers, all while being chased by a relentless stream of food items that
can only be dealt with by dropping lettuce on them or something. That’s exactly how
I’d expect this game to go, since the name implies it’s a mashup of Burgertime and
Mighty Bomb Jack, right? So what’s this Tapper-like game doing here anyway? Much to my chagrin, Burger Jack has nothing
to do with either the scaffold-based construction off stupidly huge hamburgers, nor the rescue
of a castle by disposing of volatile materials. Nope, Burger Jack is about a kid in a situation
we’ve all experienced: There’s a shiny object he wishes to purchase, he’s absolutely
skint for cash, there’s a menial job available on short notice, and he sucks it up, grabs
a mop, and gets his own kids show. Or he just flings burgers at people who want burgers.
And fries. And soft drinks. And Ice cream that comes out of a machine called “Slurp,”
which seems like a basic case of false advertising. The game starts at breakfast, where customers
make their way to KILL YOU unless you can appease them by flinging the correct order
down the line. And while Tapper had but one item on the menu, this establishment serves
up to four food items at a time, with up to three unique items in each order. As such,
there’s much more movement involved, which brings into consideration the efficiency of
each of those actions. It’s a direction I’m very happy with, since it calls for
quick decisions. Fail to appease a customer by the time they make it to your station,
and… well, it ain’t pretty. Rather, it’s just a sad-sounding trombone note. But it
still ain’t pretty. Beat back the oncoming hoards and you find yourself one step closer
to that magical, mystical whatchamacallit in the opening animation. Be warned, though,
that occasionally a bus full of bitter old people (who all look exactly the same) will
pull up and unleash a slew of miserable geriatrics, who all speed toward your whippersnapping
ass. They’ve gotta get busy dying, after all, and what better way to go than at the
hands of a grease-soaked hash brown? I’d be wont to call Burger Jack a pretty
good game for a mere buck, as it’s an interesting innovation on a great gaming classic. However,
I’m going to refrain for one particular reason. These customers of yours, boasting
no animation whatsoever and merely changing their facial expression depending on how long
they’ve been waiting… well, I can appreciate the spirit of multiculturalism, especially
in this big melting-pot we call fondue. But some of these individuals just look so horrifyingly
stereotyped that I’m almost embarrassed to bring it up. Honestly, what is this, 1944?
Indie developers don’t exactly have huge art departments, I’ll concede, but this
toes the line marked “insulting” and then falls over said line. And it’s a shame,
because the game itself is pretty fun. A little repetitive, but certainly challenging. A fine
example of what can be done with an existing concept to add a little life. And marred horribly
by the video game equivalent of an overwrought, comically void accent. Full stop.

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